Today was graduation day. It’s almost been 10 months. Perhaps the new birth is a bit overdue; I know it is. But this life is breathing air on its own, the way the Creator designed it. Lungs pump in the oxygen of hope. This freedom is intoxicating; dizzy with the possibilities.
For 31 years I bought the lie that life is about survival. Instead it’s so much more. The Savior said that he came that we might have life and to have it in abundance. I don’t think I quite understood this often-quoted Bible verse until now.
Week after week I sat in the comfy wicker chair in the counselor’s office learning to own my pain, my thoughts, fears, beliefs, dreams, desires, talents, feelings, attitudes and behaviors – to own my own life. I had never realized it was already mine. I had thought I had to purchase it from the past – a cost so great I could never afford.
Mention the word “counseling” and watch how uneasy people become. It’s taboo. They’ll shift from one foot to the other as if they can dance around an unsightly speed bump. They’d rather not slow down and talk about it. If you’re in counseling, you must be mental. What ever happened to “there is much wisdom in the counsel of others”? Don’t get me wrong. I used to be the most guilty and adamant against such therapy. And then…I broke. The weight of the world tends to do that to human arms, especially ones as little as mine. To admit I needed help felt more difficult than balancing the globe.
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He sat cross-legged among the seven other kids and staff. We bowed heads in the circle, folded hands and prayed with thanks for the bowls of food in the middle. Maybe the floor mat felt awkward to his bare feet that were use to the dirt and rough surfaces of the street. His eyes shifted restlessly between faces that now held laughter and a new-found peace.
His younger brother and little sister were here at the Safe House. How did he find us? What drew him? Perhaps it was the rumor of free meals and a warm bed. At 15, he wasn’t use to anyone telling him what to do. Roaming the streets, like his siblings once did, was his comfort zone. He couldn’t read or write but putting the tattooed, smoking youth in the kindergarten class at the migrant school with the little Burmese and Karen kids stirred rebellion that spilled over in an unexpected outburst.
Her shriek stung our ears as much as the tiger balm stung her eyes. She had been down for her afternoon nap. The older children were to be about their household chores after school. The other six were accounted for…but the youth was missing. Did he go into the room and smear it on her eyelids while she dreamed? Why would he do such a thing to his little sister? Perhaps her tears screamed the pain that he would not allow his own heart to face. And he was gone. Back to the streets. It may be hell, but he knew that maze. Making straight paths would require many walls to come down.
His behavior spoke loud. The choice to leave stated, “I don’t need help. I can do this life on my own.” Maybe he even said these words in his native Burmese or Thai but my ears didn’t know enough to understand. When the break comes, may his tear-stained eyes find a Chair open to sit in, cross-legged. May his hands spread open and allow the washing.
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As much as I like the Simon and Garfunkel song, I know that no one is a rock or an island. We need each other. Some days I feel as if I have been dashed against the island’s rocky shore. Washed up and half-lifeless on the gritty beach; I am a survivor. Perhaps that’s why I’m so drawn to work with refugees, street kids and the outcasts. In part, I understand their journey.
Co-dependency and self-sufficiency are antonyms and cuss words. To be enmeshed and insist both are needing to be index fingers is sick – more like giving life the middle finger. But to point alone is just that – alone. If I am an index finger, then you are a thumb. I need you, you need me or how can we fully grasp life? And so God made it.
Simplicity dictates the complex. Even the mind-boggling has to begin somewhere with one small step. The mind formats life on a grid beyond the conscience when we are so young. The body remembers the sin done to us and by us. But the network can be over-laid with a new layer of perspective. The bridge of the new looks down to see the ancient, crooked and cracked stone-ways falling into disrepair. Humility ushers in the construction crew to build this fresh framework. This is the hug that pulls the whole to the heart, filling the hole with new Peace. But resurrection cannot come without death. I’ve spent too many years in the tomb. I’m so thankful I finally asked for help. Hands fold in thanks and open up as Heaven smears smile-lines around these blue eyes. He’s been waiting for this prodigal – welcome home.

Angie, I appreciate your openness with your counseling. You’ve mentioned it around the office, too. I think more Christians need to feel alright about this. The fact that we follow Jesus doesn’t really do much about half of us needing help to sort through things. The stigma shouldn’t exist, but then again, we’re all pretty dumb. Either way, congrats on finishing, I loved this story!
to build this fresh framework. This is the hug that pulls the whole to the heart, filling the hole with new Peace. But resurrection cannot come without death.”
LOVE this…so poetic. I actually read it 4 times & just wanted to keep reading it, over & over. “Humility ushers in the construction crew!”
Asking for help, aka counseling, is a sure sign of strength & humility. God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. I think if more people were open to the idea that counseling was a positive, instead of a negative, we just might see more forward progress in the lives of people. Having areas that we can’t seem to move past in our lives keeps us going around the mountain again & again. Who has time for that? Life is too short to be stuck in woundedness (my word) or wrong thinking patterns.
AND it is just as wrong for people (esp Christians) to look down on/talk bad about counseling, and those who seek it. That is sheer PRIDE, and not a place anyone should want to be in standing with God…just saying… I don’t care much anymore about PEOPLE opposing me, but God? I like to keep Him on my team.
Inserting personal opinion here: I think the church in general needs more humility & fear of the Lord. (In fact, it probably needs more counseling.)Since I am “the church” all I can do is be intentional about my own actions, thoughts & alignment. Lord knows what a feat that is! But it’s important enough to be intentional. I’m just not satisfied with allowing myself the excuse of “being human” to justify habitual bad behavior. When God says His grace is sufficient, I would like to believe that means I don’t have to be bound to bad behavior, rather than thinking He just merely forgives me every time I repeat my bad behavior. Humility + truth + fear of God = real power & real freedom.
Great post. Thanks, Jake (& Angie)! 🙂
Brenda – I’m so glad you liked this piece (enough to read 4x! Wow!) and I wholeheartedly agree with this: “Humility + truth + fear of God = real power & real freedom.” Now this is a real-life equation worth memorizing. How often I forget and insert “Angie’s will-power” in the place of humility. And I think it’s true – if folks would seek godly counsel more often, they might just be pleasantly surprised how others can help them/us see “bad” behavior (aka our sinful patterns that we are blinded to). It has been so much easier to blame others for my pain/stress/lack. But then that problem goes back to the Garden (“the woman you put her….the snake made me do it…”) Praise Jesus there’s a better way all because of His redeeming work. Let the journey begin becasue, you’re right, life’s too short!
“The bridge of the new looks down to see the ancient, crooked and cracked stone-ways falling into disrepair. Humility ushers in the construction crew to build this fresh framework. This is the hug that pulls the whole to the heart, filling the hole with new Peace. But resurrection cannot come without death.”
That was suppose to be the quoted paste in the first paragraph of my response. sorry. 🙂
it really is so poetic.
I used to think I could write poetry. Finally I realized I’m not so good at the art of rhyming and conveying meaning at the same time. Most of my poems ended up looking like a fourth grader practicing for an English project. Ha! I’m so glad though that prose can be just as poetic, catching, and meaningful (more so than my feeble tries at iambic pentameter!)
Thank you, Jake! I actually didn’t mentioned it to very many people until towards the end. I wasn’t sure of myself and felt like quitting so many times. The fact that Jesus gave me the stamina to stick it out all these months is proof that He can get through to even the most stubborn (aka. me!). I’m so thankful God has gifted some folks to listen to others and help them see from a healthier perspective.
Once again, HIS timing is perfect, to speak to me and where I am at 9:41PM on October 29, 2011. He loves me that much. THANK YOU. You (are part of the) ROCK!
I love you, Krista, and am SOOO thankful for your example of running to Jesus with your pain. You inspire me to stay close to His grace!
Another great part of the tapestry! Thanks my Rose!
Snags in a tapestry are unsightly. Oh God, help me be humble to always let you repair and remove the junk! Love you, Grandma! 🙂
I too have been struggling lately with needing people in my life. It is so much easier to be independent and not vulnerable to need (we think). But our wise, loving Father has been showing me more and more that it is strength to be a community and rely on other people. Sometimes giving to others and just as important receiving from others. Bless you dear Angie in your growth. We are never to old to learn!
Robyn Galka
Aunt Robyn – Thank you for sharing too! It truly does feel easier to not need others. It’s risky trusting another with anything of depth. But that’s where God is showing me I have to always look to Him as the only one who will never let me down. Sometimes others will (and I won’t always meet their expectations either). Praying God surrounds you (and me!) with real folks to go along with on this journey.
Angie, I’m so proud of you for being vulnerable and writing about something so close to your heart. I love that you are sharing not just about the journey of others but your own as well. Thankyou for being brave and trusting in God’s grace and power to change lives…including your own!! Love ya:)
Thank you Melissa! Isn’t it great that God never gives up on us!? I’m so thankful! The changes He’s done in my own life this past year definitely increases my faith.
This is a masterpiece. Humility and honesty are the beginning or peace and joy before God. My wife and I have had our difficulties over the years. I rejected the idea of counseling due to my selfish pride. I learned from Christian counselors more than I ever could have imagined. I use that wisdom learned through them for God. It was His will.
The person that thinks they can do life alone, is headed for bad times. Great analogy of the thumb and forefinger. Thanks for your wisdom. It is a gift beyond your years…
Thank you, Floyd, for sharing about the benefits that godly counsel has brought to you and your wife. It’s a humble man that can admit his need. I’m sure this endears you to God’s heart (and your wife’s! ;)Thank you too for the affirmation. I want to keep learning and growing in God’s wisdom. Now I know that one of the valuable ways to do this is to listen to those who have gone before.
This is a masterpiece. Humility and honesty are the beginning or peace and joy prior to God. My wife and I have had our troubles over the a long time. I rejected the notion of counseling due to my selfish pride. I learned from Christian counselors far more than I at any time could have imagined. I use that knowledge figured out by way of them for God. It was His will.