I glanced up at the stage to my left and smiled at the couple that was performing. She harmonized well with her husband. He played guitar like someone who had nothing else to do with his time, and they whistled. Steam from my latte wavered back and forth then disappeared. This looks like the TV show “friends”, but there’s no orange couch and the people I’m surrounded by aren’t incredibly hot. Why is that?
TV lied to me. I can’t run around killing people, causing uproar and making explosions happen and get away with it. Not everyone is excessively skinny, athletic or even vaguely attractive. My surrogate parent who told me how to live left me ill-prepared for a world that has terrible lighting and ugly people everywhere, and the violence doesn’t work like I hoped it would. It’s more like Canadian film than I want it to be.
What’s worse, not everything works out in the end, and there isn’t any encouraging music doesn’t inspire me to make the best of myself when adversity comes. If there is any music, I put it on, and it doesn’t ever make me move in slow motion. There is no laugh track. Those fickle little emotions that make your “tummy” ache because they’re so dramatic don’t seem to really happen in life.
Consequences? I thought those were for bad people or those who I see only from a distance, not me! If I were a villain, people would definitely hate me, not feel for me, see where I’m coming from, or even consider giving me a second chance. Sorry, but Stockholm syndrome is a load of crap, too. If anybody kidnaps me, I will stab them; not like them or fall in love with them (what are the odds of a hot chick kidnapping me?)
I haven’t ever magically found the person I needed to in a crowd of a million people, only for the herd people without faces to part as we run at each other full speed. That could be awesome though, especially if she jumped and I actually caught her without falling over backward and chipping my tailbone. Not being caught by a guy can be relatively damaging to a girl’s self-esteem, and it really kills the mood if they don’t have a good sense of humor.
Who would have thought that I would have been misled by something that can impact my emotions so well? I always knew it wasn’t real, but deep down inside, I kind of hoped that my life would be like something you’d see in a movie, with or without light sabers. Either way, just like the steam from my drink that night, life is nothing but a vapor, and it’s my job to make the most of it. I need to remind myself of this from time to time, or else I get excessively serious, then I’m just a crabby ho.
