Walking through my office, I can’t turn a corner without running into someone who has either started a non-profit organization, owns another company, or who has experienced greatness on some level or another. It’s disgusting as much as it is inspiring.
Of course, that’s jealousy influencing my words. I think because I grew up during that time when teachers and parents told kids they could do no wrong, that they could be anything they wanted to be, and could do anything they desired, I have this idealistic notion that I’m going to do something with my life; I will do more than get married, have kids, get fat, and die from hypertension. Even though statistics indicate that on average, most people are losers and are mostly forgotten not long after they die, I still think that I am “destined for greatness”. I’m being mostly facetious in spite of a strong desire to mean that with a level of sincerity that I probably can’t accomplish.
I suppose I just don’t always want to be a plebe. How common is that sentiment? That feeling is so common that we have thousands of books on how to do something with your life. Literature to motivate, inspire, direct, and even help us cut corners and get rich quick. I figured that I would celebrate one of those books today, by offering my own Seven Habits of Highly Frightening People. I’m avoiding too much spoof, I had to sit through a copy-right thing the other day, and now I’m paranoid. You all know what book I’m talking about. . .
1. Don’t sleep. You are worthless and weak if you sleep. Those midnight hours provide you with lots of quiet time that you could be focusing on work.
2. Don’t have fun. It’s a waste of time. You’ll lose those memories when you’re old anyways. And if you’re looking for stories to tell, then you should lie. Lies will have more impact than any true story about your life.
3. Use your friends. They’re more than likely using you, so why not make this a mutual benefit? They have resources and contacts that you need to make your life the success that Mrs. McGrady, your third grade teacher said it would be.
4. Be positive. So positive that even mistakes don’t get you down. You’re not failing, the government will give your business money and it will all be better, especially if the president helps you make decisions, now that you two work together in what was a private enterprise at one point in time.
5. Tools. No, I’m not talking about your friends or your co-workers, not even weapons. Make sure you’re equipped to get the job done. Matlock might have been able to solve mysteries with a screwdriver and a breath mint, but can you sell electronics with that? You ate the mint? Well, now you’re down to a screwdriver.
6. Begin by thinking about the end. That’s right, you’re going to die, but you’ve got at least fifty years of suffering if you don’t do this right. You have to succeed so those years don’t feel like an eternity. Oh yeah, if you know Jesus, you have eternity, too.
7. Wrath. Seven habits or seven deadly sins? I can’t tell the difference because it seems that either way, you’ll end up a hollow shell of a person when you’re done, especially if you don’t succeed. With those bags under your eyes, the fact that you haven’t slept with your wife in months, and with all that loneliness from working all the time, you’ve become an angry man-troll who just yells at people and cries when nobody is looking.
I probably crossed some lines, but I felt like this was important because I genuinely want to do something with my life that will show up on the radar, but I’m not sure that some sacrifices are worth it. (Mark 8:36)
