Oh Jake.....

Breakthrough OR Jesus Take the Wheel…before I go to jail.

by on May 25, 2008

Driving to church can be one of the most infuriating drives for my week. Only on Sunday, it’s never as bad any other day of the week. I feel like that one guy in the beginning of the movie Office Space, only minus the swears.
There are two main roads that I take to church: State Street and Eagle Road. Both have a speed limit of 55 mph, but getting to that point is always such a struggle. I weave in and out of cars as much as I can, I yell over the Sunday morning worship show that the Effect plays each weekend, clench my fists on the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles turn white, and grit my teeth between yells. I’m only mostly kidding. I just don’t understand why it’s so difficult for people to do the speed limit in general, but I feel like this issue becomes worse when it comes to Sunday morning.

I bet that’s when the Carrie Underwood chick wrote that wretched song, Jesus, Take the Wheel… Originally the following line was, Because if You don’t, I’m going to blast this expletive-blankety-blank in front of me to... Yes, she does seem like that kind of girl.
While we’re talking about crappy music, what is it with bros driving around ghetto-blasting Fergie …”G-L-A-M-O-R-O…first class…” or “Keep bleedin, keep keep bleedin on? in love?” I get the words to that song mixed up. What I’m asking is an incredibly sexist question, why are these guys who are rolling around with popped collars and giant fake diamond earrings playing what I feel is chick music so bloody loud? I would be embarrassed if I were them!
Anyways, nothing is better than getting to the front of a line of cars who aren’t doing the speed limit. Every time I get there, I sigh, wipe the sweat from my brow and think, “This is what breakthrough is like.”

Think about it, when we experience breakthrough in our lives, it’s after we can’t get past someone… who potentially has a 2c license plate or something. You have to live in Idaho to get that joke, which is only mildly amusing because of the truth behind it. In spite of the abuse it’s gotten over the years.

Here are just a few examples of breakthrough that we can experience…
Financial breakthrough: finally you can pay off those credit cards you shouldn’t have signed up for and still have some extra cash.

Relationship breakthrough: finally she understands what you mean when you say…
Procreative (is that even a word?) breakthrough: you two are going to have seventeen babies at once.

You see, breakthrough is getting through what might have felt like a glass ceiling, or a membrane. Something that you might or might not see, but it just wouldn’t let you move any further than you were. Like cars in front of you that don’t move fast enough. But once you’re past it, you move so much faster than you were and do so much better than before.
What’s sad about this though is I’ve probably cut off at least three different cars that are heading to the same place that I am. I see them as I walk through the parking lot and decide I had better run. They’re still annoyed and haven’t got their Jesus for the week and quite frankly, I might die.

Oh Jake.....

New name

by on May 25, 2008

I think that the original name for the blog was kinda…ghetto and cliche. I’m not good at picking cool names, and I realized that I was using the same emotion-provoking wording that I generally despise…So I redid it. The reference for this one is when you’re talking smack with someone and you get a comeback like… an hour later. That’s never any fun, but it illustrates the way I think (and therefore blog) perfectly well. I wonder how long I’ll keep this one!

Oh Jake.....

Even When We’re Ugly OR, Salad Out the Nose

by on May 24, 2008


So all day today, I’ve felt nauseous on and off again. I thought I was going to puke when I woke up nasty early for work, but didn’t. Then I thought that I might throw up while I was working, but lets be honest, I thought that was just an attitude thing. And truthfully, some people order the most disgusting coffee drinks ever, so I naturally gag at those. From work, which I got off later than I needed to, I went straight to class. I was less animated than usual, and very careful while I taught, the interns didn’t need a show of Jake vomiting. Anyways, I make it full circle, go home again, and take a long nap and wake up feeling amazing. I thought I had the flu, but now I’m thinking food poisoning. Not sure.

Anyways, my amazing friends Shane and Kirst invited a couple of friends and I out to dinner. Of course I had to go, I was feeling better and I don’t turn down a chance to spend time with these people! Besides that, they offered to pay, so why not!

Donnie Mack’s is a white-trash themed restaurant, but don’t let that fool you. The place is amazing. Very well put together with “lower-class” all-American paraphernalia that you should remember seeing as a kid. The menu is good too, they’re a gourmet burger place, with lots of great things to gorge yourself on then take a fat nap. In spite of this glorious food, I decided to take it easy on the stomach and just got a tuna salad.

The conversation was amazing, the salad was good, I managed to drink a soda too, and it was great! Shane and Kirst have the greatest kids ever! Bubba is all boy, and holds nothing back. He ran circles around the restaurant and even showed us all his crazy mad pitching skills while his little sister, Sissy screamed “Yay!” after praying, eating, drinking, songs ended, and anything else that caught her attention. She added a flourish to this exclamation with the hands clapping above her head. I was really enjoying myself, but then it was time to leave, and then it happened.

We were all going to our separate cars when I felt it. The salad was on its way back. I hid my face behind one of those concrete cylinders that the parking lot lights are anchored in, and let it fly about five or six times. Let me tell you something about puking salad up. It is messy. Lettuce wants to get caught on your teeth, your tongue, the back of your throat, everything in its path. When it couldn’t all fit out of my mouth, it came out the nose. Again, lettuce sticks to stuff.

Here’s how amazing my friends are though, they all kept their distance, but waited to make sure I was going to live. Shane was even willing to drive me home. Nice people.
When I was younger, and before I was a Christian, I was a partier. I was good at it too. And first, I’ll say that throwing up beer is easier than throwing up salad, but the people I drank with were never incredibly concerned about my well-being, especially when I was vomiting. I know I’m making a big deal out of this, but I just really felt loved on the drive home (fortunately, I live relatively close to the restaurant, so it was quick too). I smiled through a dirty mouth most of the way home.

God loves us when we’re ugly. When we’re hateful, angry, sinning, and stupid. Romans 5:8 says, ” But God demonstrates his own love for us in this While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

How much love is that? Like I said, when we’re ugly in our own sin, God still loves us. It’s amazing. I love God, and I’m grateful for the people that He’s put in my life.

P.S. I still feel great, I just threw up, that’s all!

1 145 146 147 148 149 151