Hibernation has always sounded nice, but it’s not a thing for humans. Myself being the exception. My winter has been less bearish and more like a caterpillar’s experience (I tried too hard there and ended up horrifically mixing my metaphors… onward we go). I’ve made a chrysalis. It’s comprised of books and paperwork, held together by my sweat and tears. In it, I’m studying, praying and panicking. When spring comes, I hope to emerge, the same creature, but noticeably different. I’ve gone into this process as a regular lay-person, and I hope to come out of it a reverend in the Anglican church. You know, the kind that runs around wearing the black shirt and white collar getup (I’m hoping for so much more than that, but it’s a helpful visual).
While I’ve been encased in all my study materials, I’ve gotten texts and voicemails asking questions such as, “Are we even still friends?” or, “Where the hell have you been?”
I’m an extrovert. I want to be with you, my friends. I just can’t right now. I have to study. I have to get an 85% on my test to pass. If I get less than 65%, I have to wait a year to take it again. I’m not interested in that. So, forgive my absence. We will be friends again once more soon.
Anything I’ve written in the past several months has either been a theological argument, definition or bible story. So, very Much Later has suffered as well. It’s heartbreaking.
These are necessary sacrifices for a season that should hopefully end soon.
By the end of March, this will all hopefully be done and I will be back- as ordained clergy, or something else. Not sure what that would be. So, I will ask this: please pray for me. Pray that I can study and get the things I need to into my head and spirit, as well as unlearn some incredibly unhelpful things. Also pray for me to see God’s will. If He doesn’t want this for me, neither do I. The best way to destroy a man is to ordain him when he ought not to be clergy.
Thanks. I’ll see what I can write in the coming weeks, but if stays silent for too long, you know what I’m up to.
