My father is one of those guys who maintains an immaculate lawn and judges his neighbors for not doing the same. His yard green and even. It’s a delight to walk on. He picks up crap from his two stupid dogs and waters it daily. He feeds it, weeds it aerates and babies it. The whole process makes me sick.
My parents spend a lot of time working on their house and yard. The unspoken agreement between them is that my father does all of the outdoor stuff and my mother maintains the interior. But whenever a project rolls around, she “recruits” his help. They’re always doing something new to the place, like cutting trees down or staining the deck- occasionally, they cover something in concrete.
I used to love working in the yard- planting flowers, mowing the lawn, building retaining walls and watering it each evening. I looked forward to buying my own home and doing the things my parents didn’t do and having a much more awesome outdoor space than the one I grew up with, even though it was still great. I had visions of ponds and waterfalls, frogs and fuchsia-lined walkways. I never considered the effort.
My parents bought the house they currently live in when they were both 30- I was four. I’m 29 and am nowhere near purchasing a house, getting married or making babies and I’m mostly okay with it. I couldn’t imagine trying to maintain property right now. Or ever. I might be a permanent renter, so somebody else has to take care of things like broken water heaters, bad wiring or a lawn. The same goes for raising children. That’s scary crap right there.
Even when I find a wife and start procreating, I worry that I’m likely going to be that man whose kids are invariably frumpy and for some mysterious reason, a little damp (please Jesus, don’t let them smell. I promise I’ll bathe them and put clean clothes on them). My yard won’t be beautiful, either. Unless I can pay someone to make it so.
Am I prematurely waving a white flag?
I might be too young to give up. I haven’t even tried any of it. I might be a dandy parent and landscape artist- they’re practically the same thing, right? But as I get older and as my world continues to grow (along with my do-list), I’m realizing that some stuff has to suffer. Always. I already don’t have enough time to do all of the things I love without at spouse and little humans in the picture. It’s killing me. Even my poor blog is suffering, and I hate that the most- probably more than I hate missing out on things with friends, which is saying a lot.
So, here’s to getting some of the things done.
Also? Jesus, please don’t let me get fat- because I don’t have time for the gym right now. Amen.
We haven’t a tendency to focus on what we haven’t done, what we haven’t got. My parents had four kids by the time my dad was my age. I can get so bummed you that i don’t seem to be leaving a legacy. That i work a regular job. That my job is boring and seems to make no impact on eternity.
But i’ll tell you this: you do work that mattters, you get to go to Africa and make a difference to those that most have forgotten, ignored.
Don’t focus on the lack, what you’re might be missing. Celebrate the greatness God has you in right now.
You amazing writer, you.
DANG IT. That just sounds wise, don’t focus on what I don’t have or have yet to do. Booooo. You aren’t allowed to do that. What do you do for a living? I’m not sure I ever caught this from you. And work that matters? I’d say that all work matters. Did I tell you that I’m no longer working with refugees? It’s sad and yet, so fantastic to be where I’m at, too. Long story on that one.
Thanks for the encouragement, YOU amazing writer.
That “amazing writer” compliment means allot coming from you. I wish I hadn’t made that comment from my phone though…SWYPE leads to typos.
I manage an optical lab and provide technical and managerial support for ten other optical labs. Boring but it pays the bills.
AS for wisdom, it’s a work in progress. something literally pray everyday quoting James. God give me wisdom. The biggest thing I’ve learned from that? There’s always more to learn and I can learn from anyone.
“There’s always more to learn and I can learn from anyone.” One of the keys to living a good life right there!! See you in about 12 hours!
Jake! Get out of my head right now! You have no right to be in there!!!
That being said, I know the feeling. I actually do own a house, and ere are so many little and easy projects I need to do, but just don’t have the time to do them yet. I can’t imagine what I would do with kids. Oy! And, same as you, unfortunately my blog has suffered quite a bit this year. Spending two hours a day just commuting for work makes my time at night a lot tighter and my blog has paid the price. So has my gym time. I don’t like it.
You should move. NOTHING is worth that much of a commute. Rent your house out and get an apartment somewhere. Do. It. Now.
My goal is by the end of the year to be living down in the city where I work. I’m trying to get the ignite group at this school strong enough that I don’t need to be here for it to function well.
I’ve got that two hour commute too, man. It SUCKS! Proof that I’ve only updated my blog three times in the past two months.
Also home ownership brings its own headaches amiright?
Headaches like cleaning up a basement full of human waste? I’d say so…
Some days I wish I was still renting! Especially those days when something breaks and needs to be repaired.