I’m opinionated. I actually think it’s one of my finer qualities, too. I just like to share what I think and believe with people. If one happens to fall into one of my captive audiences- willingly or not- I would hope they’d understand that they have every right in the world to disagree with me. They just can’t tell me to shut up.
I recently saw a quote that I know I’ve encountered before, but for some reason, it really bothered me this time. It goes,
Religion is like a penis.
It’s fine to have one.
It’s fine to be proud of it.
But please don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around,
and PLEASE don’t try to shove it down my children’s throats.
I don’t have a source for this little gem, but I bet that whoever conjured it up is incredibly proud of their symbolic creativity. And my immediate response would sound something like, “Your face is a …”
Here’s the deal: I could think up a million retorts, but they wouldn’t promote healthy conversation. For the purpose of making my point, I’m going to say that politics and other beliefs are just as phallic as religion.
Unfortunately, people start thinking this way because they’ve encountered humans who don’t know how to have a conversation about faith, who to vote for in the 2012 presidential election, or about whether or not global warming is a farce. My goal right now, is to foster communication about these subjects with a short list outlining what we should do and what we should avoid when talking about sensitive subjects.
1- If you plan on talking, then you ought to listen just as much. People are less offended by what we share than our resistance to hearing their position. Believe me, this can be painful, especially when someone drones on about something so vapid that it makes you want to die, but you owe it to them to hear it out.
2- Don’t insist on being right. More and more, it seems like people are doubting absolute truth, so insisting that your way is singularly correct will likely make you look like a closed-minded idiot. You may actually be right, but nobody will believe that unless you have a way to show them instead of just telling.
4- Don’t attack. Beliefs stem from worldviews- literally meaning the framework on which a person’s existence stands. Do you really think telling them that’s wrong is a good idea? It’s like attacking a castle gate with a pointy battering ram. They will pour hot oil on you then do everything in their power to set you on fire to protect their perspective.
5- Don’t yell. This probably belongs under attacking as a sub-topic, but sometimes we raise our voices as a means of protecting ourselves. Personally, I enjoy yelling at people. I think it’s fun, but that only works in certain contexts. If you stay calm, the person you’re speaking to is more likely to keep their cool too.
6- Don’t insist on winning. Life is only a competition when you’re driving to the supermarket and you are not a professional debater, so you do not have to have the last word or prove someone is wrong. This doesn’t influence anyone as much as it turns them off.
Not every opinion is right, nor is every belief. In fact, there are a crap-ton of ridiculous notions in the world. We have to share with each other so we can weed out the garbage and find something worth holding on to. Ideally we’d get rid of everything except the absolute truth, but this won’t happen until we’re willing to listen to each other. And by the way, I need to practice this, too.
Hi Jake.. I agree with you.. It doesn’t mean that if it is your opinion, it is always right and you should be aware that you don’t hurt any people..
I’m back and forth on not hurting people. It’s definitely important to not damage someone, but sometimes, hurt feelings can’t be avoided. I know I was a little sarcastic while writing this, but that’s just who I am. 🙂
I think our need to be right and our need to win is the most detrimental to the cause of Christ. Following God isn’t about winning, and evangelism isn’t about proving other people wrong. I was turned off to God for a while because of this kind of thinking and witnessing. To come up to me and tell me everything I believe is wrong won’t get me to listen to you – it will get me thinking how I can attack you back.
When we stop treating evangelism as some kind of epic debate we need to win and actually start getting involved in people’s lives, listening to them and helping them see the truth, we will see more people come to Him.
Ugh, evangelism. I recently talked to the staffers at my office about it, how we can’t force it. It has to stem from a genuine excitement for Jesus Christ and His work in our lives. If we don’t have that, then how in the deuce are we ever going to share God in any way that’s convincing? It’s depressing, because there’s so much pressure to get people to church. Leadership wants more people. We don’t want our friends to go to hell, but I adamantly believe that “dodging the flames” isn’t a sufficient reason to witness to another human. I mean, it’s great, but it’s missing the point by a mile. But we don’t do that, do we?
Sorry I been so busy I’ve missed a ton of your stuff… I got conned into coaching again…
Anyway, I did miss the straight forward honest style of writing! I haven’t heard that little gem, but I too would have plenty to say to anyone who offered it up.
I used to be the person who would argue to the death, now not so much. I’ve learned the hard way that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
Besides, I’m not God, my job is to care and share. I’ll leave the miracles up to Him.
Great post my friend.
We’ve both missed a lot! I completely understand busy, it’s unfortunate, but I’m also glad you’re coaching again.
I love arguing with people. It’s just fun. and I like to win, but it’s just that part of me that I ought to get rid of, which is really just depressing. But it makes sense, and if it’s for the greater good of us not looking like a bunch of pretentious tools, it’s worth it.