You don’t want to be lost around a bunch of Christians,
especially ones you don’t know.
Maybe that’s just me.
The lobby was standard for a church of several thousand people.The usual Christian coffee shop stretched along the west wall. Across from that, the bookstore swarmed with Jesus-people. A tunnel of white light extended to the north. The bright hallway was the church’s art gallery. A fountain of a woman drawing water from a well occupied the center of the room.
My pupils probably dilated as my eyes scanned the enormous room, trying to find an entrance to the auditorium. What lobby doesn’t lead to the sanctuary? No signs or plaques stuck to walls told me which way to go. No giant banners waving from the ceiling provided direction. No doors looked as if they’d lead one to a room that could house thousands of people for a church service, either.
I thought about asking one of the many freakishly good-looking people walking around if they could point me in the right direction, but decided that I had more than enough time to explore and I might find a restroom while I was at it. I looked at the hallway that had been transformed into the art gallery and wondered if they’d funnel people through there, and subject traversing worshipers to mediocre art depicting Bible stories and Church history. I decided they wouldn’t. Two yellow halls diverged up ahead, which would I take?
Both were equally busy. Maybe they led to different ends of the sanctuary. I took the right. I meandered past classrooms, fake plastic trees, large families, the church offices, and the music storage room before the hallway morphed into a staircase. Still no signs.
I peered up from the foot of the stairs, feeling like a small child. This probably wasn’t going where I wanted to be and if I looked frightened, somebody would probably talk to me. Talking to strange Christians is sometimes less than desirable. So I set my jaw, relaxed my posture a little, and resumed exploring as if I knew where I was going.
Sometimes, I see people lost at church. Funny enough, they aren’t visitors from out of town or people nearing the end of their pre-Jesus days. They’re individuals who fell in love with God and have been lost since. I’ve watched friends go from job to job, start and quit school and volunteer at a million different places, trying to find something that fit. They aren’t necessarily unhappy, but don’t come across as settled either.
Maybe God screwed their plans up when He introduced Himself to them and they haven’t figured out what to do instead of pursuing their once vied for careers in anarchy, selfishness, apparel sales and other evils. Perhaps He’s been telling them what to do and they haven’t agreed to it yet. Maybe success has eluded them in every attempt they’ve made at doing something great for God.
Either way, they wander.
Only a few of them wander out of God’s house. The rest show up in the north hall one day, appear in the coffee shop after that and when their time steaming milk and pulling shots is done, land in a classroom where they’ll teach Sunday school until they’ve decided they never want children of their own. Regardless of what they do, I know I’ll probably always see them in the sanctuary, at one time or another.
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I don't know what to say except Amen. I could try and make some intelligent comment, but I'll just say you've captured the feeling of being lost among the found very well.
Also? I hate intense debate.
Thanks Kathy!
Also, I just killed intense debate 🙂
Well, well, well… I was wondering when you might pick up that pen or engage the key board! I've come to enjoy and look forward to that warm yet sarcastic style. I attend a pretty big church and have had several discussions with my wife about my take on the majority of the people who attend the massive worship centers. I seems to me that big churches are good places for people to hide. Maybe that's a good thing, certainly better than no church at all. In a world where everyone is trying to be connected via the internet, they sure don't seem like they want to be connected face to face…Me too sorta.
Floyd, I’m glad you keep coming back for more. Truthfully, I hit some… not writer’s block, but couldn’t piece anything together that was appropriate for this forum… I honestly have no problem with a big church. I like the number of opportunities there are. I was hoping to make this more metaphorical for life when people wander, but oh well!
Oh yeah. Ditto for me about intense debate! If you can't trust us who can you trust?
I got that out of it too, and it was well done, the post just took me to a place of self-examination. I wander the massive halls of my church and just the week before last I took advantage of one of those opportunities you mentioned. It’s a long step out from anonymity for some of us.
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I’m glad Kat linked to your post…this is good stuff. The moment I read your description I flashed back to this huge church a friend of mine once attended where I spent 30 minutes trying to find a bathroom. If you can’t find the john within five minutes of entering the building, the church’s just too darn big.
Yeah, if I almost pee my pants before church then I’m not going to be thinking about Jesus while I’m singing about Him. It’s just natural. My church is easy to get around and I’m honestly not afraid to talk to new Christians, either. I have to say though, some of them are excessively strange, so that’s my one apprehension.
Jake,
I was here earlier in the week, but I left nary a comment. Problem is that I had a lot to say, but didn’t know how or what or why to say it without rambling on and on…
It did inspire this post of mine though: http://aspiretoleadaquietlife.blogspot.com/2011/01/wondering.html
And I just saw you linked over at Kathy’s so I figured I would come back and say HOWDY. Really? You all have a coffee shop & bookstore inside your church? (for some reason I thought we weren’t supposed to do business in the “temple”)
Blessings.
I’m glad you came back! We don’t have a coffee shop at my church, and we have a small bookstore. This was about a church I visited a few years ago. It was ginormous to the point of distraction. And as far as the business in the temple…. that’s a funny one. There are a lot of opinions in it. I think what matters is that it’s less significant than worship. If it’s a genuine resource to help “equip the saints” I think it could be acceptable. We’ll never have a black and white, decided answer on this sort of thing though.
We have a library which is used by a small percentage of the congregation. Do you suppose if we had the books for sale instead of loan more people would read them? It’s an idea.
This is a great post. I’m not sure if I’m wandering or not. Probably depends on the day. But I spend a good bit of time thinking about the people who don’t feel at home at our church. Sometimes it’s difficult to find them.
I wish my church had a library! I’d be there ALL the time! It’s interesting watching people come and go and see where they land in their efforts to serve God and do something they feel good about, as well. You’re right about not easy to find the wanderers at all. I almost feel as though a lot of them don’t know that they’re wandering. I don’t think it’s a terrible thing though. I think the “City of God” is large, with lots of avenues, tons of places to go and look around without ever leaving!
I can understand why you didn’t want to ask for directions. When people know you are a first timer, they get so hopeful that you will fall in love with their Church and become a member immediately. In the meantime, you know that this isn’t really your Church home, but a visit to siblings who keep house way differently from you. You can visit, but you could never call it your home.
Helen, I honestly don’t think I’ve heard it put that way before. It made 100% sense though. You my friend, are a genius.
Wow – I just stumbled across your blog and I have to say, this is a great post. I love your sarcastic style.
I just started looking for a new church (old church just hired a new pastor who is very legalistic, causing a lot of us staff people to step down) and recently visited a church of 6,000 people. I felt like I lived what you just wrote! Not sure how I feel about it yet (I’ve always been in churches of 100-200), but glad that I wasn’t the only one feeling that way.
Jason, glad you showed up! I go to a big church, I think the idea of being at a different, larger one was a little intimidating, and I was there alone, too! (boo) But it’s funnier watching the people sneak through crowds and go basically unnoticed OR move from place to place to place in the same house… trying to find out where they should be!
[…] Huge Church = Lost(ish) Souls, by Jake Lee […]
Quoting J.R.R. Tolkien, I like it. Or did you steal it off a bumper sticker not knowing where it came from?
Tony. I knew where I was getting it from. Do you want to fight?
That said, I have seen the bumper stickers. When was a lot younger, I thought the phrase came from a Beetles song.