Tension thrives in polarity. Extremes seek out and tug on people, politics religion, communities, really anything tied to people. We find tension in mathematics, art, and emotion. Wherever there’s more than one place or perspective, we will find something that’s torn between the two, three, even four competing notions. Sometimes, I find myself in a place of tension, as two or three different ideas, philosophies, or actions seem to be tugging me in their own direction.

Real life experience and faith sometimes create tension. We believe for one thing, and come into another. We continue to hope and believe, to “have faith for” and yet, sometimes we don’t experience that which we pray, prepare and sacrifice for. All of a sudden, we want to try something different, because according to people who quote things they might not have actually looked up,

“the very definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results”

(I didn’t find this definition, not that it’s a bad one. . .)

Either way, it’s annoying, waiting for something to happen and not seeing it, right? Where the crap does faith come into play? We’ve all heard stories and lies about the faithful dog who waits for her master to come home from war, school, or from being lost. The beast sits on the steps on the front stoop, watching, waiting, every day. She lies down after a month, always watchful, never changing, just waiting. According to people with questionable definitions, that dog is insane, but we give it so much praise because it’s faithful, and honestly, who doesn’t want something or someone to wait for them?

Is faith a little slow? Is faith entirely stupid? Maybe it’s a little more dog-like! I don’t know, but again, we pray, prepare, and sacrifice for something, hoping that someday in the near future, it will show up, and things will be exactly as we imagined. The best thing about faith is its reward, or so it seems. Nothing is better than an answered prayer or dream come true. Perhaps if anything is better, it’s faith that has been ridiculed as ridiculous and a little slow that finds vindication through met expectations.

Sometimes I feel like a madman because I keep hoping for certain things, but I haven’t changed the approach at all. In faith, I keep looking. In faith, I beg and plea with God, sometimes even yell. Maybe I need to make some changes, I’m not entirely sure, I just know that when my expectations are met, I’m going to have to say, “In your face” or “I told you so” for a month solid, and it will be glorious.

In the mean time, I’ll chill here, right smack in the middle of my tension.